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Always and in everything to be the best – isn’t that our parents taught us? Is it bad to be an excellent student or employee of the month? Healthy perfectionism helps to achieve their goals. The question is how a person copes with failures that are inevitably found


on the way. Psychologist Jessica Predor explains when this quality becomes dangerous.

We constantly make more and higher requirements. This applies to a career, relations with others and their own body. We are driven by the need to look flawlessly on social networks and in life.

Studies show that the current generation is subject to perfectionism more than previous. We are talking about millennials (born in the 80s-early 2000s). Jessica Pryor, a psychologist from the Institute of Family at the North-Western University, says that a tendency to perfectionism has led to an increase in the number of depression and an increase in the number of suicides. She explores the problem and tells how to distinguish a healthy desire for perfection from unhealthy and what to do to discover the real herself.

What is the difference between healthy perfiction and unhealthy?

The specialist emphasizes that perfectionism is not always bad. It has a positive side – this is how ambitions and the desire to succeed are manifested. The more effort, the more likely the achievement of the goals.

A healthy desire for perfection is accompanied by high psychological stability. This means that you are able to quickly recover after failure and continue to work on achieving goals. A good example of such perfectionists are professional athletes.

“In order to maintain and extend contracts, continue to play in teams, they must constantly show high results – not only high, but extraordinary. They learn from mistakes, rebuild and, most importantly, quickly forget about past failures, ”the psychologist comments.

On the other hand, there is an unhealthy (maladaptive) perfectionism. Those to whom he is characteristic set themselves very ambitious goals and react painfully if it is not possible to achieve them.

“Such people have stringent requirements for themselves, but they have no flexibility, psychological stamina and ability to quickly recover after failures,” the psychologist explains. At the same time, people still continue to set themselves very complex, and sometimes impossible, tasks. “Because of this, the probability of failure increases, and these violent negative reactions are increasingly. A person falls into a vicious circle of constant failures and self -flagellation, from which he often cannot get out on his own. “.

His requirements for himself have extremely stringent, preventing any deviations from the intended plan. For example, he can consider: “Yes, they made me a full partner of the company, but I went to this much longer than colleagues” or “Yes, I managed to enter a medical school, but not the most better!”. Such self -criticism eventually begins to affect self -esteem.